Wacky Story III

Yesterday, I was to complete a very unimportant mission: Cure cancer. Of course, I didn't give a sh*t about it, so I just drank of my neurons instead with some mouthwash. It was great stuff, until the world went hazy. I wandered around, until I had diarrhea and dumped my ass in some sort of well. Now, today, it seems I'm on a cell, with some friendly blue clowns holding on to clubs. All of a sudden, a bunch of angry mole-like things broke through the wall with some neon signs. they started killing everyone with guns that shot olive seeds into the officials' eyes. The city was completely razed, the inhabitants were unscathed, but dying of constipation. George Bush had died from a stomach infection and suffered from dementia in his last hours. It seems that the city's water supply was heavily contaminated along with some subterranean rivers.

The mole-things didn't complete their rampage 'cuz they had all died from eating poisonous frogs. However, it seems that some cyclopes were coming out from the Soyfood Company's factory. A few hours later, the army was fighting against them. The result was a mess of tofu, Soy beans and blood. Heck, the army lost anyways. Luckily for the world, the Soy monsters went bad and decided to wash themselves in the river. They all disolved into water, poor wild life. Those creatures must have awful sight, for I saw everything. Just like that, a fern popped out of the groun, spoke in mandarin and gave me some tangerines. Bleh, I don't like fernsor tangerines. The guys at the US Government found out of this and launched some missiles and blamed Spain for it. Once again, the magic peanut tree got pissed due to his vacations getting interrupted. The hotel he was staying got destroyed and couldn't afford another one. He used magic to send a piece of evil broccoli out to destroy the U.S. and restored the world. With all of the conflict resolved, the world was ready for yet another pile of nonsense.

My tip? Don't use mouthwash as a recreational drug, ever!

Written by: Carlos O. Aguilar

The New Age Writers salute you!
Enjoy! Create! Just Write!

AnOtHeR wAcKy StOrY...

A few moments later, a musketeer tried to eat a sneaker, but a time paradox made his brains explode. A zombie cried. A fudgy count accused a kid for being a cereal killer. Six guys ate a nacho, but only one died, what a dip! A ninja solved a math problem, but now he had a mental one. The gnome tries to eat his spleen, but his friend already did it. The dwarf uses gender neutral pronouns. That pen is white, who will read this now? Maybe the seamen can help me...

My shadow was behind me, but I made him see the light! The firefighter was too gassy and had a heartburn. When the last drop fell, the energizer bunny had commited suicide. Five samurais made word-plays on their names, but the cat turned them into anaerobic bacteria and died quite fast.

An old, fat man has grown a tail, and is now a flying butterjar. His wife placed a net on his head, and threw him into a jarred room. A mad monkey threw a barrel down a hill 'cuz he was drunk on wine. A poor plumber was minding his business before getting killed by the incoming barrel. Luckily, he had some credits that saved him. He said, "Life's a long game, and those who don't read instructions, will have a 'game over'... unless they have some credits... : )".

My resolve. With all of those events. Something incredible happened: Elmo f*cked a garbage can and it came to life. This proves that he is truly evil, the bastard.
Written by: Carlos O. Aguilar

The New Age Writers salute you!
Enjoy! Create! Just Write!